For Luke and Melanie, a gift, on the splendid occasion of their marriage!

Dearest Luke and Melanie:

First of all, I want to congratulate each one of you. Both of you have made a most excellent choice of life partner. You make an exciting team, and I know you are going to get up to all sorts of fascinating adventures together. I hope I'll be able to tag along sometimes, whether you are off following the trail of obscure superstitions in South India or paddling from village to village in the remote Brazilian Amazon.

I also hope you will invite me to your home, and cook me delicious vegetarian meals. Once you have a place to live, that is. Some would think it is daring enough that you would go ahead and get married while homeless, without all that gallivanting about to distant continents. I'm not worried, though. I know you will be settled soon. But under the circumstances, I thought it best for the moment to give you your wedding gift virtually. It's rather weighty, so instead of giving you a big heavy box full of cookware, which you would then have to schlep somehow or another to the greater St. Petersburg area, I thought I would just tell you about it.

Newlyweds, you've chosen door number one! What have we got for the young couple? Why, it's a wonderful set of cookware, from that fabulous country, Denmark, and that fabulous decade, the 1960s! Way before you were even born, you cuties!

That's right! This stunning thirteen piece set of enamel cookware, in almost new condition, features fire-engine red enamel on the outside, and beautiful blue-gray enamel on the inside. We'd like to tell you that you can take this straight from the oven or stovetop to your table and then pop it right into the fridge, but Le Creuset has that motto patented. Nevertheless, rest assured that you can do that! This stuff is every bit as good as that more famous French brand, except, dare we say it, it's even more elegant! This is Quality, people! If you want to get snooty about it you can even let slip to your dinner guests that it's decidedly Danish Modern! Timeless, and stylish. We just know you are going to enjoy using this for your legume and bean-based vegetable stews and curries.

If you act now, this set will include everything you see here: all four trivets; the rectangular casserole with matching lid; the low chafing dish (which I don't even have, in my own extensive collection of turquoise pieces by the very same designer!); the tab-handled skillet and lid; and two sizes of deep saucepans, each with their very own matching tops!.

Just drop me a line as soon as you have an address and this stunning collection will be winging its way to you!

Offer of free shipping valid only in the 48 continental states and the territory of Puerto Rico. Not valid where prohibited by law. Five dollar bill appears only to show scale of items and is not included with this offer at this time. No warranties implied or expressed. Acceptance of offer assumes extension of future dinner invitation to donor by recipients. Batteries not included.


John V. Fleming said...

Way to go, bro!
The Brooklynite's right.
Voss is boss.

Melanie said...

Greetings from San Jose Costa Rica, where I have managed to snag some wireless and catch a moment away from the Great Kiskadees to read your awesome blog. I CANNOT WAIT to cook with these amazing implements--and for Luke to learn how to use them on the stove and in the oven. LOLZ! Thanks so much, Richard! You simply have to come to St. Pete so I can cook up some southern (Indian and US) delights in them for you. :-)